"C'est pour ça on te dis que 1er gaou n'est pas gaou O ..."
That song's stuck in my head.
I'm singing it on the motocycle on the way home.
Finally, w'er here.
Open the door...There's a package on my table.
Label reads:"Office of Admissions, Berea College..."
I know exactly what's inside.
A yellow note is stuck to the envelope.
I can hear my heart thumbing.
Let's take a closer look at the note.
"Linda, I'm extremely sorry ...Daddy"
It doesn't say that ! I didn't see that word !
I could swear I didn't see it.
Let's look again.
"Linda, I'm extremely sorry it did not work for Berea College. There may be other options."
Huh ! I'm sure it's a joke. Daddy is probably trying to play a trick on me.
Let's look in the envelope.
It's already open. Well, let's see inside.
I unfold the letter.
I read:
"Dear Linda S. Adzanku"
"... Thank you for your interest in Berea College"
That's a good sign. Isn't it? Read on.
"...I am sorry, the admission committee ...Best regards."
no!
I'm probably seeing things. Let's read again.
"...sorry...this academic year, only five percent(30 students) of our admissions are international ..."
A lump is growing in my throat.
I have to get rid of it before it chokes me.
I go to my room.
Shred the letter into a thousand pieces, whishing it was the admission committee I was shredding.
That only stopped the lump from growing for a short while. Then it started again.
I lay on my bed, face up, pillow on my face, random tears stream across my cheeks, past my ears, and soak the bed sheets.
I think:
My first academic deception.
All my life, I managed to stay ahead of most of my classmates (among the best).
Never been below average or simply average.
I've always been a school idol, admired even by principals.
What did those 30 admitted people have more than I?
Linda, stop it. You'r being ostentatious.
Maybe I am.
Someone?s knocking.
Come in !
Its miss Florence, the cook. (a healthy woman in her 40s)
She asks : « What?s wrong ? »
Nothing !
« Sir has already told me what happened »
I think : so why are you asking me ?
« You know, this dosen't mean its the end. You don't know what God has in store for you. The Bible tells us that He no evil thought conserning His people. All things happen for the good of God?s people. You don't konw why God is not sending you to this school. You must have patience upon the Lord because His time is not our time. We humans want to run faster than God and we often end up falling. Take it easy.»
I thingk : God, why do you send the woman I despise most in this world, to tell me all these things ?
She walks out.
She's right though. And plus, Berea wasn't my only option. I applied to 4 colleges in total.
But still.
I've got to do better! I have to so my best!
I will tolerate no more deceptions!
Finnal exams are in 3 weeks.
I must do my best.
I must must must!
I can't stand the feeling of being dropped out.
Its not too late.
I still get to decide how I want this exam to be for me.
Funny, the lump is gone.
